“I have a confidence about my life that comes from standing tall on my own two feet.” - Jane Fonda When Michelle was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome she accepted the condition confidently and dedicated herself to giving insight and perspective about the Asperger’s condition to others who have the same condition and to the general audience. Her YouTube presentation on “Life as an Adult with Asperger’s Syndrome,” became very popular and has been viewed over eighty-five thousand times as of the publication of this article. In her memoir “Asperger’s on the Inside” Michelle invites the audience to step into her shoes to experience a life with Asperger’s. Her memoir is highly recommended reading for anyone who wants to truly understand what it means to be a high functioning woman on the Autism Spectrum.

What inspired you to come up with your memoir “Asperger’s on the Inside”? What is the most important milestone in your life that changed you?M: As much as my book has been helpful to so many people, I have to admit my initial motivation for writing it was slightly selfish. I just felt a very strong desire to explain myself to people. I felt misunderstood, and I felt if only I could explain myself properly people would be nicer to me, and more empathetic. And I did spend a lot of time trying to make it not just for Aspies, but a book that all people could enjoy to help them learn about others like myself.
Ironically, after writing the book, I did discover that there were still some people that couldn't stand myself or the book I had written. (The extremely small minority). But it came as a surprise to me that no matter how hard I worked to explain to myself, there will always be just some people who don't like my Aspie personality, and did not enjoy my writing because it reflected that. And that did change me because I learned that's okay. I learned that it's a waste of time to try and try and try to justify yourself to the world too hard. Some people will love you, and there will always be some who don't. And that eventually made me stronger as a person as I realized it wasn't something I was doing or had to fix. I was also so happy to hear how my story has helped so many people fell validated and understood, and helped some people to get their own diagnosis. It has been really wonderful to have been able to do something to help normalize the autism community.

Can you tell us about your experience working as a chemical engineer in Australia? How would have this experience been different if you were diagnosed with Asperger’s earlier?M: I worked for both some reasonable companies and some politically awful companies as a chemical or process engineer in Australia. And I think, no matter how much I knew, I probably would have never been someone who was suited to a politically aggressive workplace, because I am just not a 'game player' by nature. I am an open and honest type. But in the good companies I worked for I think knowing I was an Aspie would have made a world of difference. I was so unhappy working behind a desk, in an office, and I never knew why. I needed to get out of there, and I was restless, and made suggestions for change to my bosses, who tried to help. But they couldn't help because they didn't really know what was wrong, and nor did I. Until eventually I couldn't stand how sick I would get from stress, and ended up quitting each job in turn.
Now i understand my problem was more related to over stimulation. It took a lot of 'spoons' to sit in an office with people talking around me and being expected to be tuned in and attentive to the goings on of the office while trying to work. Heavens, it took a lot of 'spoons' just to work in front of people and present a normal pose and facial expression, when I really just like to relax and work at home in whatever position or with whatever expression I like. Office lights are always bright. Noise levels are always loud. I always "just needed to get out of there", and I never understood why.
Think now of all the accommodations I could have asked for if I only understood this about myself. To think, perhaps I could have had a successful career. Perhaps I could have found a way to be happy in the work world before I burnt out. I could have had a different life. Knowing would have made all the difference.

What was your reaction once you were diagnosed with Asperger? What was the major step you took after being diagnosed?M: I actually self diagnosed myself before I was formally diagnosed with Asperger's so nothing came as a shock to me. I had already spent the previous year reading online and thinking maybe, and then the next day, no maybe not. I did a lot of backtracking, with thoughts of "I'm too normal for that", and so on, until I really got an understanding of what Asperger's was. And it was at least a year before I really came to peace with the idea and accepted myself as an Aspie. Then I approached a psychologist because I wanted to officially know. I imagine this is a very different experience to those that find out about their Asperger's via diagnosis!

What is the best thing you love about being a mother? What challenges do you face as parent with Asperger’s?M: I love being a mother, because despite all the challenges, the love I have for my boys is just so strong, and the good times with them make me so happy. Just daydreaming about them can make me really happy. Oddly enough, I seem very over-emotional when it comes to my children (and dogs), but in a good way. I think parenting has been a bit harder than perhaps for normal mothers. Multi-tasking can be very hard for me, and young children demand you drop everything and give them attention a lot, so it's a struggle when I really really just want to tune into something else. They also overstimulate me and use up my "spoons" a lot quicker than usual, and I have to be careful to make sure I have enough left in me to parent them well right through to the end of the day. Sometimes that means saying no to other commitments that parents are expected to be part of, such as volunteering, and people don't understand and think poorly of me. Sometimes it means I don't socialize very well at mothers groups, because I have trouble focusing on my kids and chatting at the same time, so I have trouble making friends that way. I don't always click with other mothers that easily.
But overall I have enough friends and close people in my life that I just do things my way, and only say yes to one thing a day if I can help it, to keep me sane. I do okay. Most people understand my differences and are fine with them, and some are judgemental and don't, but I think i've grown beyond worrying about those few. I think my boys have a very happy life full of cuddles and laughter and happiness, because in our house we aren't afraid to all roll on the ground together in a game, and we run around with the dogs, and we sing at random, and things are very relaxed and fun. And my boys know they are very much loved.

Who is your inspiration?M:  I always found it funny that people idolize others. I don't know why, but that feeling is not one I have. I like myself. I am good at heart and want positive things for the world I live in. I feel a lot of love for those around me. I just don't have a role model or someone I am inspired by I'm afraid so the question is hard to answer. I just like who I am.

How do you involve yourself in advocacy?M: To be honest, I have been a bit busy and overwhelmed lately to involved in any serious Autism advocacy. I am happy to respond to people and help put the right information out there online, by email and on social media. And I do get countless emails from people who have read my book and want to know more, so I do my best to try and respond to most of them, which is extremely time consuming.

What do you like to do when you are with your family/friends?M: I'm a very simple creature that likes a lot of down time. I like taking my dogs to the dog park and watching them play. I like doing things that make my kids laugh. I like going for walks in very beautiful environments and enjoying nature when it is not too bright. I like just sitting somewhere quiet and talking with people one on one (on the odd occasion when I have the time). I also spend a bit of time in between, when all the work is done, playing strategy or long term computer games or management games, as that's what stimulates my mind.

What are your other hobbies?M: I partly covered that above. I like doing things with my dogs. I have a new puppy at the moment that is keeping me very busy, and recently fostered a rescue dog and her 8 pups (one of which was the one we adopted). I like taking photographs of the dogs, my kids and nature. I like photo editing and working with image software, and I like playing planning and management games, as I do enjoy a good long term project. I enjoy doing a lot of things on spreadsheets too, as projects come up here and there.
I manage a small press publishing company part time, but that is more a volunteer job than a hobby. I also like to help/support my boyfriend with his Youtube channel Brick Building Fun, in which he does Lego builds online. Sometimes he has my kids co-host with him and those videos are a lot of fun to make. And I'm rooting for him as he slowly builds up a following. You know, just lots of little things that have my Aspie focus at the time.

What tips/advice do you have for those in our community who want to be an advocate for special needs?M: Again, I couldn't really give advice as I am not a strong advocate myself. But I would say I am proud of anyone who wants to advocate, and they have my full support. Good on you to each and every person who gets out there and tries to make the world a better place for those on the spectrum, or for any other group with needs for that matter.

Any special message for our community?M: Um. Just thank you for taking an interest in interviewing me, and the work I have done to help others understand those on the spectrum. And I hope the work me and others are doing can slowly make your and others lives better too. I wish each and every one of you the best on your own individual growth as an Aspie or Autistic person, and I encourage you to be proud of who you are. We need to accept ourselves and celebrate all the areas we are strong in and all the things we can offer the world. Don't focus on the things that you are weak in, as you forget the world wasn't designed for Autistic people, so these Aspie "weaknesses" are just as much a failure of the world to be right for us as any failure on your part. The more we are proud of the positives we bring to the table, and tell people we are autistic with confidence, the more the world will begin to accept and learn to accommodate people like ourselves. And sometimes that level of confidence and feeling good about yourself can be a hard point to reach, but my hope for every autistic is that they get there. That every one of us can find things in ourselves that we excel in and are proud of. And find confidence in our special niche in the world.