When her son Vir was diagnosed with autism, bestselling author Gopika decided to advocate for her son and other children with autism to reach their full potential. She authored “Beyond the Blue”, a book for parents of children with autism. Through this book, she shares her parenting journey and experiences as well as ways of providing an environment of inclusiveness for children with autism. Gopika has written for several leading media outlets and has helped various national and international NGOs with communication initiatives. For her brilliant writing, she was awarded the Young FICCI Ladies Organisation (YFLO) Women Achievers Award.

Can you tell us about the idea behind your book “Beyond the blue”?G: Beyond the Blue was a concept I had thought of many years ago. Being a writer with a Masters’ in Journalism from Northeastern University, Boston, writing was my first love. Along the way, with my son’s diagnosis of autism, my life has taken a different direction when I decided to join Ummeed Child Development Center, an organization working with children with developmental disabilities where Vir was diagnosed, to help other children like him. After working for 10 years within the autism intervention team, I realized that I was in a unique position: not only had I lived with autism, I has also acquired a lot of knowledge from working in the field. As a parent, I knew how it felt to receive the diagnosis, the initial years of struggle to find the right therapies, the wisdom of reaching a state of acceptance, and as a professional, I knew what kind of therapies and interventions worked with each unique challenge. Additionally, all the books I had read had a uniquely Western perspective – there was nothing from the Indian subcontinent that would address our cultural heritage, our societal norms, our familial structures and dynamic. All the literature that I read felt familiar in the experiences that the parents had had, and yet so alien because it existed in a completely different context. So, I decided to combine my two roles, write from the perspective of an Indian parent living within the subcontinent, return to what I knew best – writing – and create a book for parents that would be relatable, realistic and above all, empowering and uplifting for them.

How has your personal expertise and experience helped you in writing this book?G: Like I mentioned, I have actually lived with autism in my house and family. For instance, I know what it feels like when a child has a meltdown – the frustration, the disappointment, the stress, the sadness, the anger – and as a professional, I know how to deal with it using the right approach. Both these roles helped me in my own life as well as with the families whom I worked with. And it was by combining these two roles, that I could write a book that spoke to parents as well as professionals working in the field.

What do you hope your audience learns by reading your book?G: There is so much I hope readers take away from Beyond the Blue. I started writing, and even finished writing the book, intending for it to be for parents of kids with autism, to serve as a guide, a handbook as well as something that made them feel optimistic and hopeful about their child’s future. Since it came out in November 2020, Beyond the Blue has surpassed my expectations in terms of the varied audiences it has reached and spoken to. One reader wrote to me saying that although they knew it was supposed to be about autism, they felt that it was a great guide to dealing with any kind of adversity. Several readers have written in saying that it helped them deal with whatever difficult situations they were facing in their lives. Another wrote that they feel that not just parents of kids on the spectrum, or with any developmental disabilities, but everyone should read it, because it is about differences, and how to celebrate them, which is especially important given the increasingly polarized world we are living in.
So, my expectations from the book have changed. What I really hope for is two things: my original hope that parents who have kids with any kind of difference feel a sense of hope and optimism, and also that anyone else who reads it is sensitized and becomes more inclusive in their outlook towards anyone who is different from them in any way.

What are some basic concerns for families of children with autism? What are some of the best ways to address these concerns?G: The chief concern that I have seen with most families starting off with young kids on this journey is lack of, or limited speech. This is what rings alarm bells and brings them to see a doctor. As kids grow, they have sensory responses or behaviour that are different from their peers. Many parents report that things that are seemingly insignificant to them, like changing the route to school, will set their kids off and result in a meltdown, and they can’t understand why this has happened. I think the best way to address any of the concerns that parents have about their child is to visit a developmental pediatrician (different from a regular pediatrician) and take things from them. Early intervention really works, so they shouldn’t let their own fears delay a visit to the doctor.

What fun activities do you and your kids love to do together?G: My kids – Vir and Gayatri – are now 16 and I’m loving this age. My husband Mohit and I do a lot of fun things with them together and individually. We love travelling together; Vir especially loves the entire experience from the plane ride to exploring new hotels and sightseeing and eating out, so we have enjoyed some great holidays in the past. Unfortunately, lockdown out our travel plans on hold, but we spent a lot of time as a family – more than we ever have before – doing indoor stuff. We cooked and baked together – in fact, Vir has become a great baker and we’ve discovered a vocation that he could pursue with this. We played cards every night, watched movies, read books, and talked so much. Recently, with the weather being good in India, we’ve started going on picnics one day of the weekend. We have dinner together most nights where everyone has to talk about five things that happened to them during the day. And most importantly, we laugh and make a lot of fun of each other, so being around my house is a bit like being in a circus!

What is your suggestion for families of children with disabilities to empower their children?G: There are so many lessons I have learned on my own journey, a lot of them from doing things wrong before getting them right! I think the most important thing that I would like to say to parents is to NEVER underestimate kids with autism. We feel that they can’t do a lot of things, but they will surprise you with how much they CAN do! So keep pushing them to try out new things and explore new dimensions of themselves (with scaffolds and preparation of course!), because you never know what they might unearth about themselves.
I’d also like to add that these kids are not helpless, they’re just different. As parents, the worst thing we can do is to make them feel helpless. We need to make them feel like they can do anything, and they will!