Lauren is a senior occupational therapist and has a passion for helping kids to learn effective techniques to feel calm and gain control over their emotions and senses. These techniques are designed to empower kids to be in control of how they deal with their feelings. She has captured her techniques in her insightful and widely recommended book “The Kids’ Guide to Staying Awesome and in Control: Simple Stuff to Help Children Regulate their Emotions and Senses”. Lauren’s book has been listed as a resource by Real Simple Magazine, Inc. Magazine, Psych Central, Marie Claire, Everyday Health, Mothering.com, to name a few as well as by numerous school district’s around the world. She has also appeared on The Autism Show, The Manhattan Neighborhood Network's School-Home Connection, and The Matt Townsend Show and is a contributing author to Huffington Post and Autism Parenting Magazine.

Can you tell us about the idea behind your book “The Kids' Guide to Staying Awesome and In Control”?L: The Kids’ Guide to Staying Awesome and in Control: Simple Stuff to Help Children Regulate their Emotions and Senses, published in July of 2014, was largely inspired by my passion for my children and my profession. I created this book to provide children with a tool to empower themselves to feel calm and in control. It is filled with simple ideas and strategies that are designed to help children regulate the emotions and senses, in order to allow them to tackle difficult feelings head-on and feel awesome and in control!

Who can benefit from reading this book?L: Everyone! I originally created this book for kids approximately ages 5-10, but found that younger children and adults have benefited from its strategies in daily life:) We can all use additional tips in order to self-regulate, to be able to label our feelings and choose connected tools and supports, no?

What kind of research was required to write your books?L: I delved into articles, text books, and courses related to neuroscience, self-regulation, co-regulation, self-regulation, and psychology. Most of all, I believe my most significant experience came from my direct work with students themselves, seeing what worked clinically and what didn’t! Kids were able to tell me, or at times show me, tangible tools that easily benefited their ability to self-regulate. By working in the school system, I directly saw the gaps and needs within classrooms themselves where children required support to minimize fight or flight behaviors and improve attention and overall confidence.

What is your most memorable writing project and why?L: I would say that my most memorable writing project would be my second book, “How to Be a Superhero Called Self-Control”, as it was my first experience combining my creative writing side with my clinical/OT experience. It has a superhero called Self-Control, who teachers the reader strategies, otherwise known as superpowers. There are different sections addressing frustration, anxiety, anger, etc, with characters facing common situations connected to those feelings. When the reader completes the superpower the correct way, they save the day for the child experiencing physical or emotional dysregulation! I had so much fun writing this book that I wrote a follow up book, “Self-Control to the Rescue!”

What are some of the effective ways to help children with their emotions and senses?L: Firstly, it is important to teach your children to label their feelings. There are four different categories of feelings used in the Awesome and in Control Program. First, we always want to get to the point of “Just Right”. This doesn’t mean feeling perfect. This means that the child is able to “do what they need to do in whatever situation or environment that they are in”. The process of self-regulation is getting to the state of “Just Right”. Next, we have Slow and Tired. Slow and Tired addresses a state of being so tired that the child is unable to “do what they need to do.” Next, we have “Fast and Emotional”. This relates to strong emotions, such as anger, sadness, frustration, anxiety or even over excitement- all to the point of being unable to “to what they need to do.” Lastly, we have “Fast and Wiggly”- this relates to having so much physical energy that the child is unable to “do what they need to do.”
It is important that when we engage in using exercises or tools, we connect our feelings to our strategy. Let’s try an example with an “Anywhere Body Break.” An Anywhere Body Break is a small movement exercise that can be done anywhere.
Let’s say I am feeling anxious. I would label my feeling as Fast and Emotional/Anxious. I can choose the anywhere body break of Palm Push, pushing both palms together firmly at my chest level. I will think where I feel those feelings in my body. I will then put them in my palm push and push the feelings into my palms until I feel Just Right.
If that is not enough, the next step is to use a tool. Let’s use the same example with feeling anxious/fast and emotional.
For the tool, we can use a firm fidget. . I would label my feeling as Fast and Emotional/Anxious. I will think where I feel those feelings in my body. I will then put them in my palm and squeeze the feelings into the fidget until I feel Just Right.
If the use of the tool is not enough, the last step in the self-regulation process is the completion of a Big Body Break, using one’s whole body. Again, we are using the same example with feeling anxious/fast and emotional.
For the big body break, we can complete the cocoon exercise. I would label my feeling as Fast and Emotional/Anxious. I will think where I feel those feelings in my body. I will then put them in my palms and push the feelings into the floor until I feel Just Right.
I am attaching the link to all the charts with the visuals of all the strategies and supports, organized by state of regulation or type of support from my publisher’s website, for you to utilize in your own space: https://www.jkp.com/media/wysiwyg/Resources/2014/brukner-978-1-84905-997-8/Brukner-The_Kid_s_Guide_to_Staying_Awesome_and_In_Control-Activity_Pages.pdf

What is your suggestion for families of children with disabilities to empower their children?L: It is vitally important to provide your children with choice over the self-regulation process- that is half the battle to ensure success! The more that they feel that they are in control, the more effective the strategies will be. It is best to introduce all supports at a time that your child is regulated and in a mindset that they are best able to hear/retain the information that you are presenting. The smallest details can make the largest difference to your child in terms of their ability to self-regulate. I once had a student who said to me, when I presented them with a chart of self-regulation choices: “All day long, my parents and teachers tell me what to do. I want to choose.” And they proceeded to circle all of the supports, completing each exercise! The act of choosing the strategy was as important as completing the exercises themselves.